An Interview with Teenagers -- on what it's like to be a teenager

I feel like I remember what it's like to be a teenager. I remember, sometime around seventeen or eighteen, realizing that I hadn't cried in a couple of days -- after crying every night since I'd turned twelve.  I remember all of the conflicting emotions and complicated drama -- the friends, the bullies, the boyfriend, the misery of the daily grind of school...but my own teenage daughters, 19 and almost 16, tell me I really don't know, because things today are so different.  So, I interviewed them to find out what it's like for them, in real time, to be teenagers.  Check out what they had to say:

How old are you?

19

What is the toughest thing about being a teenager?

Feeling like you are ready to act as adult but not be allowed to yet and also not feeling ready to act as an adult, but being pushed to do so anyways. 

What is the best thing about being a teenager?

There is always something new to try, new milestones you are reaching, and each year your thinking is so different from the last.

What do you wish adults understood about being a teenager?

That they really can think and achieve amazing things if given the opportunity. Even if they seem like children to you, they feel more like adults and should be treated that way. Also, the pressures of being a teenager now are extremely different then when adults were that age, with insane college competition, recession, and technology, the world has changed and adults need to realize that they don't fully understand what its like to be a teenager anymore. 

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Hopefully teaching elementary school, renting an apartment, and starting to get a feel for my life.  

Do you think being a kid or an adult is better?

I really see the positives and negatives to both, I think adults often fantasize about being kids, and kids fantasize about being adults but it really it comes down to the grass being greener on the other side.  

What is some advice you'd give other teenagers of your age?

Don't worry too much about the future, it will happen when it happens (but also don't completely forget it will sneak up on you quickly!) 

Anything else you want to add, feel free!!

I think tweens are really the new teenagers-- they feel very mature, but to adults they seem very young. Adults expect teenagers to be acting with a certain angsty attitude, but it's really the tweens that are acting this way. Parents expect this from their 14-16 year old, but they don't expect it from their 9-12 year old. There really needs to be a shift in thinking to understand both these age groups. 

How old are you?

15

What is the toughest thing about being a teenager?

Pressure in all its forms (peer, parental, media, yourself, the future, the present, the past, teachers). 

What is the best thing about being a teenager?

Always getting second chances (if you make a mistake at school you will just receive a bad grade or a detention, but at work, you will probably be fired); monetary freedom (not having to pay for housing and food for the most part); being able to eat whatever you want and not get fat; finding yourself (discovering what you like/don't like, what you're good at, etc).

What do you wish adults understood about being a teenager?

Life as a teenager is different now than it was 30 years ago therefore you do not and cannot understand what we go through (it is the same for us with you) therefore pressuring us will only make us want to rebel more; our mind works very differently than yours; it is very obvious who you "favorite" (whether a parent, teacher, director, coach, etc.); understand that we make more mistakes than you do, but nagging about them will not make us "apologize," it will make us bitter and annoyed.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

A junior in college (I don't know where yet; hopefully Colorado College) in the third year of a pre-law program and the school's orchestra. Maybe in a sorority.

Do you think being a kid or a teenager is better?

It is too black-and-white. It depends on the person's experience with both. Since I have not lived as an adult yet, it is impossible to answer the question.

What is some advice you would give teenagers of your age?

Try harder. You don't have the right to complain about your weight or your grades or not making a team if you're not willing to put in the effort to change it. "Trying hard" does not imply saying you're going to diet, and giving in after the first day, and saying "well, I tried." Saying you "don't know why you failed a test" when you've only studied for less than a 20 minutes is not trying. Don't blame your parents for these things either, because it is almost always your fault. Your life is not as hard as you think it is. Just because you have a learning issue, are athletically challenge, or have parents that constantly bug you does not mean your life is a tragedy.

Anything else you want to add, feel free!

Get out of your own head. When something bad happens, think of all the good things that will come from it. If you got a bad grade, be glad it's not as bad as it could be or that you still have the whole year to bring it up. If your boyfriend breaks up with you, think of how much better another guy could be for you.

Know that life sucks, but your life is a hell of a lot better than a lot of other people's. Complaining about your parents nagging you or your head hurting are not going to make the problems go away. Take action.

Anyone want to chime in on best/worst things about being a teenager or the parent of a teenager? I'd love to hear thoughts.