My husband is the fourth of four boys. His mother was always clear: he had been her last hope for a girl. After his birth, she was moved into a post partum room with a woman who had just given birth to her sixth daughter. They laughed about trading babies.
Later on, during the teen years, my mother-in-law said she felt glad she hadn't had girls. Her friends called her on a regular basis with stories of their daughters' mood swings, tears, and friend drama. With boys, the most my mother-in-law felt she had to contend with was a lot of laundry and huge grocery bills. But deep down, I think she was always sad she hadn't had a girl, and when she wound up with three female grandchildren out of five total, I like to believe that eased her disappointment a bit.
I have two daughters. I'd always wanted girls, had hoped beyond hope that I would have them. When I was pregnant with my second daughter, many people asked me if I was wishing for a boy -- wouldn't that be great, they'd said -- then I'd have the "perfect" family of one of each gender. Even my infertility specialist, who knew how long and hard we'd tried for a baby, remarked that she hoped "this time" I'd have a boy because "that would be perfect." But I wanted another girl, and when her gender was announced to me (we chose to wait until the birth) I was over the moon.
Many people don't feel this way, though. They want to experience both genders, still consider that "perfect" family one with one boy and one girl. I know many people who opted for a third child when they had two kids of the same sex, just to try for the opposite. In one case, I remember a woman who cried openly when she found out, via ultrasound, that her third child was the same gender as her other two. I know many couples who decide to find out the gender of their babies so they can get "used to the idea" before the baby is born, in case they are not the "right" sex.
I also know people who scratch their heads at the idea of couples with a boy and a girl who choose to have another child. "Why would you do that?" they ask. "When you already have one of each?" "Was it an accident?" some have the gall to wonder.
What about you? Do you think a boy and a girl is the perfect family? If you had all of one gender, did that bother you, even secretly? Or did you truly not care "what kind" you had?
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