When You Say Goodbye to Your Manuscript

On Monday morning, I uploaded my manuscript and sent it off to my new editor.  I was both excited and sad.

I really love this manuscript, and I think it has good potential.  I've been working very hard on it, writing seven days a week to ready it for her, so she can work her editor magic and make it into the kind of book my agent will say is ready to Show. Some. People.

I had been looking forward to some time off. I pictured myself catching up on my tv shows, napping maybe, cleaning some stuff that has't been cleaned in a while. (Okay, I really don't want to clean anything.) But also reading a lot more -- something that I love and which has had to take a back seat lately to getting my manuscript done -- and catching up with friends.

But then I clicked that Send button.  And I felt adrift.

I miss my characters. I miss Hannah, a smart, unsure of herself twelve year old who is completely confused by her almost-teenage life, and her big brother Aaron who is applying to college, knowing he's not going to be able to attend, and their father, Mark, a bumbling but lovable Rabbi, left devastated by the loss of his wife, with no clue how to raise the kids himself.

So I'm not exactly enjoying this forced upon me free time as I thought I would.  And I find this happens every time I write a new book. I start imagining the free time, the break, the much needed release from living the story in my head every day.  And then I get there and it's, well, not anything like I thought it would be.

My editor will be done in about three weeks, and then I'll get it back again. I'll get cranky as the time grows near, I'm sure, thinking about all of the work I have to do on it, worrying that I won't be able to make the changes she suggests, wondering if I really can take it to the next level.  And as soon as I get it back, as relieved as I will be to have it in my hands again, to write, I will wonder why I didn't appreciate my break more.

On Living

This week, I've been struck by the living all around me. The will to live despite difficult circumstances and the will to live better.

Of course we were all shocked when we saw the horrific scenes in Boston on Monday.  As of today, Wednesday, three people have died, including a little boy, and hundreds more have serious injuries. Many will need to learn to live without limbs. For them, life will be difficult over the next months and years.  But in time, they will rally and learn to live not only normally but joyfully, and the people around them will help with that.Their will to live is strong.

Just as the Boston Marathon tragedy was coming across the airwaves, a good friend of mine, a woman I've known my entire life -- literally, as we grew up across the street from each other, our parents best friends (still living on that same street!) -- was undergoing gastric sleeve surgery. (This is a form of bariatric weight loss surgery.) She had been contemplating this decision for years, literally, and agonizing over whether she should do it. Ultimately, she has a strong will to live, to feel herself, to be who she really is, and this surgery -- and its recovery - while not easy, will give her the opportunity to do that.  Difficult circumstances, again, but the will to live is stronger than the circumstances she finds herself in.

And I'm on my own journey to live a better life. Twelve years ago, I was diagnosed with Chrons Disease, an autoimmune disorder that attacks the digestive system, as well as other parts of the body, like the joints and the skin.

Over the last twelve years, I've been trying every oral medication there is on the market to feel better, some with more success than others, never getting me into remission for very long.  Last week my doctor threw down the gauntlet.  I needed to start IV infusions of a very strong medication that is sure to put me in remission. I could say that I "decided" to go for it -- but the truth is, there was little choice in the matter.  So yesterday I spent the day at the hospital getting my first infusion.  It's a long process -- I was there four hours -- of a slow drip of strong medication along with other drugs to counteract the negative side effects.  I wouldn't say it was any fun, but it was my way of moving forward with life so that I can be the person that I want to be, despite my circumstances.

This is what life is all about, when you get down to it. Living despite what you have to overcome.  And everyone has to overcome something. I do. My friend does. Surely the people of Boston now, do.  What do you have to overcome or what are you working to overcome so that you can live better?  Tell me. I'd love to know.

The NEXT Book

When you're a writer, you constantly balance at least two worlds -- the book you're currently promoting, and the book you're currently writing. It's enough to drive you insane.

I love talking about Child of Mine, my debut novel. It was written from the heart; the story of an infertile midwife desperate to have a child -- and to find her biological family.  While I was writing it, it hearkened me back to the time I had struggled to have my own children, to my infertility treatment.

But at the same time as I've been discussing my midwife, Katie, and talking about infertility and birth and the magic of midwives, I've been living, part time, anyway, in my new world, with a twelve year old girl named Hannah who just wants to figure who she is -- Jewish, like her adoptive parents, or some other religion? And I've been taking peeks into her family, too.  Her father, Mark, is a Rabbi on the verge of losing his job, and who already lost the most important person in his life, his wife, his children's mother, to cancer a few years back. And what about Hannah's brother, Aaron, who has made a stupid choice he's going to have to live with forever?

So you can imagine how I might be feeling a little confused these days.  What book am I on?  What character am I thinking about? Whose voice do I want to get into now? I'm happy to say that I just finished the first draft of my new book (title to come) and now it is with a good writer friend who I know will give me honest feedback.

Do you have a question about Child of Mine? Writing? Publishing? Infertility? Ask away, and with my head clear, for now at least, I can answer!

Sharing Some Author Love

One of the most challenging things a new author needs to do is find other, more established authors in her genre who might be interested in reading her book, providing a blurb, or letting their own loyal readers know a fresh voice is on the scene.

As new authors, we hate to bother our established counterparts. Established authors are as busy as the rest of us, if not busier. They have books to write and edit, their own publicity to run, as well as responsibilities to their publishing houses and agents, yet they can be so valuable in helping us jump start our own careers.

Sometimes a new author just gets lucky.  That's what happened to me since my book, Child of Mine, came out a few weeks ago. First, the talented as well as lovely Therese Fowler www.theresefowler.com, author of four books, both bought and tweeted about my book, and then she shared a link on her Facebook page to an interview I had done.  She did this in the midst of launching her newest book, Z, which has already garnered so much interest that I know she has been busy with press and media for weeks.  She took the time to mention me, and I'm so appreciative. Thank you Therese!

Then, last week, I reached out to author Jane Porter. www.janeporter.com Jane has written literally dozens of books over the last decade -- just in the last year several new ones have come out! -- and is widely known in women's fiction publishing. I met Jane at a party she threw a couple of months ago celebrating her latest release.  Though she lives on the West Coast, she brought the party here to New Jersey, and after I'd admired her work -- as well as her stamina -- for so long, I knew I had to go see her.  Jane was warm and inviting and we had a great conversation. 

So I took a chance and emailed her.  Within minutes, she emailed me back, offering to guest host me on her blog.  Next thing I know, my interview is on her web site, along with my picture, my cover image...I could not be more grateful to Jane.

I can't imagine ever having the kind of successful career that these ladies are having, but if I do, I will pay it forward and pick a new author who I want to support.  There's nothing better. Thank you so much to these terrific people!